Tas Saves Yule
by Mazkeraide
Summary: Parody of Elmo Saves Christmas. When a certain kender gets three wishes, he decides to have Yule every day. The only person who can stop it is Raistlin, who just wants to become a god...
1. How Tas Saved Yule Tas Makes a Wish

So before anyone reads this, I feel you should have a full backstory.

My friends and I were having a Christmas movie marathon at my house. And we watched "Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas" or whatever it's called. I know that that seems really random but um, have you seen the "Ghost of Christmas Past" in that movie? Look him up and you'll see what put this on my mind.

So later my friends and I decided to watch "Elmo Saves Christmas". And I thought "Wow, this matches Dragonlance perfectly!"

So here's my Christmas present to all of you.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Dragonlance or any of its characters. Also this is a parody, so any OOC is just my being crazy!**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 1: How Tas Saved Yule. Tas Makes a Wish.**

It was a gray winter's day, not cold but chilly, in Kenderhome. The market was full of milling kender, buying new things, mysteriously discovering things in their pockets, and finding newly-missing objects in the hands of nearby passersby.

Tasslehoff Burrfoot was very excited. Today was December 24, the eve of Yule. Naturally, Yule was Tas' favorite thing- besides, of course, adventuring, maps, and his friends. Except maybe Raistlin. But despite his excitement, Tas couldn't help wishing it would just snow for once! It snowed very rarely in Kenderhome- less often than most kender would have liked, but often enough that every time it got cold, all hoped desperately that it would. And a white Yule- how marvelous such a thing would be!

Tas continued his shopping, finding, and losing until well into the afternoon. Although he had lost a few old maps and a ring that must have fallen out of Tanis' pocket, he had found several marvelous things that his friends would love. He was rushing home now to further decorate his already festive home before evening. Equipped with new glass balls, some candles, and some tinsel, he decorated his sagging tree and baked- or burned- some fresh cookies, which he set out on the table beside his tree. He settled himself in an armchair, planning to sit and wait for Yule to begin- he was _not_ going to fall asleep- but he was simply too excited. He found himself bouncing excitedly in his chair, but he was determined not to move. It started to rain, and he excitedly stared out the window, waiting for the temperature to drop sufficiently for snow. As more and more raindrops trickled down the window, he found himself drifting off...

* * *

"Oh, now where is my hat?" Tas heard as he roused. Immediately he was fully awake.

"Fizban!" he yelled excitedly. "You're here!"

"Is that my name?" the senile old man said from the corner of Tas' living room. "I couldn't for the life of me remember it. Of course I'm here! I'm delivering Yule gifts!"

"Gifts?" Tas asked. "I love gifts! What did I get?"

Fizban scratched his head. "I can't deliver anything without my hat," he said decisively. "Will you help me find it?"

Tas shook his head. "It's on your head, Fizban," he informed the old man, whose hand immediately flew to his head and encountered his hat.

"By George, it _is_ on my head!" Fizban exclaimed. "Now I can continue my deliveries. Tas, you've saved Yule!"

"I have?" Tas asked. "I suppose I have! Wait till I tell Caramon! He'll never believe me!"

"Well," Fizban said, businesslike, "I have a lot more houses to get to, and a few caves. Also some trees. And some boats. Oh, I am going to be busy today!" He bustled about, preparing to leave. "What was that transportation spell, again?"

"Wait!" Tas yelled. "What about my present?"

"Oh, right," Fizban said absentmindedly. He reached into his sack and pulled out a small, round object. "Here you go. Now, what was that spell?"

Tas was far too distracted by his new present to help Fizban on this one. _He's a god, anyway,_Tas thought. _He'll figure it out eventually._

The gift appeared to be nothing but a heavy crystal ball, but when Tas picked it up, its insides seemed to swirl. "Wow, Fizban, look!" he called excitedly. "It's just like that dragon orb I broke!" But the old man was gone. Apparently he had remembered that spell.

"Who are you talking to?" the ball asked. Tas was so surprised he nearly dropped it.

"You talk?" he asked.

"Of course I do. I thought you were talking to me. But my name is definitely not Fizban. Such a lowly name," the ball said. Tas thought its tone seemed a little nasty.

"Don't make fun of Fizban," he said. "He's a god, you know. Paladine. We're close personal friends."

"Well," the ball replied, and that seemed to be the end of that. "What's your first wish?"

"Wish?" Tas asked.

"Of course. I'll grant you any three wishes you want."

"_Any_ three wishes?" Tas verified.

"Anything."

"How do I do it?"

"All you have to do is think of your wish and say, 'dragon'."

"'Dragon'? That's a weird wishing word," Tas said. He was really trying to distract the ball while he thought of a good wish.

"Hey, if you're going to complain, I can find someone else," the ball told him.

"'Dragon' is a lovely wishing word," Tas corrected himself. "Can I try?" He had thought of a perfect wish.

"Go right ahead," the ball said.

Tas gripped the ball tightly, thought of his wish, and said "Dragon!"

It immediately began snowing outside.

"Snow?" the ball asked. "You wished for snow?"

"I love snow! And we've never had a white Yule. Well, that's not entirely true. My Uncle Trapspringer once told me about a white Yule when he was a boy. See-"

"You could have had absolutely anything!" the ball interrupted.

"-and I know I would love a white Yule, and all the other kender would too, and they'd be so surprised," he finished his explanation a few moments later.

"But you could have had anything!" the ball repeated, dumbfounded.

"Like what? A kender girlfriend?"

"That. Or world dominion. Or godhood. You could have been a magician!"

"A mage like Raistlin? I've always wanted to learn magic! Can that be my second wish?"

"I wouldn't waste any more wishes for tonight," the ball replied. "Think it through, and maybe I'll let you wish again in the morning. Remember, you only have two more wishes. You want to make them the very best."

Tas sighed. "I suppose so," he said. "Wait until I tell Caramon and Tanis! They'll never believe it!"

* * *

Tas walked out into the streets of Kenderhome. Everywhere he looked, kender were playing in the snow. Kender children had built a snow fort and were conducting a full-blown battle in the streets. He had been caught in the crossfire, but he had only laughed. This snow brought such joy to everyone.

"Tas! Tasslehoff!" a voice called from behind him. He turned to see a young kender girl- his cousin Goldilocks, actually, rushing to catch up with him.

"Happy Yule, Goldie," he said cheerfully. "Isn't the snow wonderful?"

"Oh, it is, Tas," she said happily. "I'm supposed to give you a present. Here, it's from me and mama and papa."

Tas smiled and took the gift. "I have some for you, too," he said, reaching into his pocket and discovering only one of the two presents he was to give to Goldie. He glanced at the package she had given him. "To: Goldie, From: Tas," it said. He grabbed it and gave it to her. "Sorry, your present must have fallen out of my pocket and into yours. You must have dropped mine." He checked his other pocket. Ah, there it was! "See, it fell into my pocket!"

Goldie laughed. "Funny how those things happen, isn't it?" she asked. "Thank you so much, Tas. Have a merry Yule!" she called out as she skipped off down the street.

Tas continued walking, enjoying every moment. "Snow is so marvelous," he told the ball, which was hidden in a secret pocket inside his coat. He didn't want anyone stealing it. "Especially on Yule."

"Snow is wonderful," the ball said sullenly. It felt its talents were being wasted on this kender. "But shouldn't you wish for something more serious?"

Tas shook his head. "We've had this talk already. And I'm the one making a wish, so I think I should pick what it is. What should I wish for next?" He stopped addressing the ball and began speaking to himself instead. "I could wish to go to the moon...or to never have to sleep. Or for every map ever made, except not any duplicates. Or I could wish for..." He trailed off, distracted by a group of passing children. One was knocked down by a snowball, and rose laughing.

"I love Yule!" he cried. "I wish it could be Yule every day!"

Tas grinned. "That's it!" he cried. He held the ball tight and wished.

* * *

It was a snowy Yule morning at the Tower of High Sorcery in Palanthas. Much like everyone else in Krynn, Dalamar and Raistlin were enjoying their gifts.

"A unicorn horn?" Dalamar asked incredulously. "This is the most powerful magical item I've ever owned!"

"It is not to be lightly used," Raistlin said weakly from his chair by the fire. He didn't do well waking up early. "Save it for emergencies."

"Of course, Shalafi," Dalamar replied, but continued stroking the horn. "Have you opened my gift yet?"

Raistlin nodded. "The spellbook was a lovely idea. If only I didn't have five copies already."

Dalamar flushed. In the process of looking away, he discovered another partially hidden present under the tree. He passed it to Raistlin, who proceeded to open it with the closest thing to excitement Dalamar had ever seen him express. This faded quickly once the gift was unwrapped.

"Maps?" Raistlin exclaimed so forcefully that he quickly succumbed to a severe coughing fit. Dalamar rose to help him until it passed. "Maps?" he repeated, more softly. "But where's my Demon-in-a-Ball?"

"You wished for a Demon-in-a-Ball?" Dalamar asked incredulously. "Why on earth would you need that? You're the most powerful mage there is!"

"You and I both know what I aspire to," Raistlin said dangerously. "The Demon-in-a-Ball would have simply made my quest easier. The real question is this: who does have the Demon-in-a-Ball? Whose present did I get?"

Dalamar dug through the discarded wrapping paper until he found a label. "'To: Tasslefoot Burrhoff, From: I seem to have forgotten my name again'," Dalamar read. "Who could that be?"

"Damn that fool of a wizard!" Raistlin said softly. "And damn that kender. He'll have made some foolish wishes by now..." More loudly, he said, "Come, Dalamar. We must retrieve my Demon-in-a-Ball before it is too late."

* * *

"I don't think it worked," Tas said, opening his eyes. He had squinted them shut in fear- or hope- that there would be some sort of explosion.

"Oh, it worked," the ball said. "And that was another ridiculous waste of a wish."

"How do you know it worked?" Tas asked anxiously, ignoring the final jab.

"I made it work. You'll see."

"When? Now?"

"Soon enough...chaos will begin..."

* * *

The morning after Yule, Dalamar and Raistlin prepared to leave Palanthas for Kenderhome. They would have left earlier, but strict Palanthian rules prevented anyone leaving the town on Yule. So as soon as dawn broke, the pair were packed and leaving the Tower.

But when they reached the gates, there seemed to be some sort of backup.

"Dalamar!" Raistlin commanded. "Go see what's going on."

Dalamar bustled off and returned a few moments later. "It seems, sir, that they're still not letting anyone out."

"Well why in the Abyss not?" Raistlin demanded.

"It would appear, Shalafi," Dalamar said, "that it's Yule again."

Raistlin sighed. "Damn that kender," he said, and motioned for Dalamar to follow him back to the Tower.

* * *

Tas skipped happily out of his house the next morning. His wish had worked- this morning, when he had awoken, a new gift lay under his tree. And the more he saw of Kenderhome, the more he realized how worthwhile his wish had been.

"Everyone's so happy," he told his ball. "How could you possibly think that was a bad wish?"

"Oh, you'll see," the ball replied. It was beginning to think that perhaps such dire warnings were lost on a kender.

But he wasn't the only one with objections to Tas' wish. When Tas returned to his house that night, he found Fizban waiting for him.

"Tasslefoot Burrhoff!" he said angrily. "What have you done?"

"Isn't it wonderful, Fizban?" Tas replied excitedly. "Now it will be Yule every day!"

"It's horrible!" Fizban replied. "How will anyone get anything done now?"

"What do you mean? It's Yule, what is there to get done?"

"What is there to get done for the rest of the year?"

Tas thought for a moment. "Okay, you've got a point," he said. "But look at how happy everyone is!"

"They're happy here," Fizban replied, "but what about everywhere else? I'll show you," he said, deciding not to wait for Tas' answer.

Suddenly, Tas, the ball, and Fizban were in Palanthas. Angry crowds pushed to leave the city, but the gates would not open. Then they were in Sanction, where draconians milled angrily. Through a window Tas could see Kitiara, which was very exciting, but she did not look very happy. She was sprawled across a chair, spinning a knife between her fingers. "What about the post-Yule executions?" she asked a nearby draconian irritably. Then Fizban and Tas were in Solace, where they could see into the Inn, and this was the most exciting part because both Caramon and Tika were in there, and they looked content. Tas could hear laughter and other happy sounds from below.

"They don't sound unhappy," he said.

"They will," Fizban replied. "Just wait."

"I don't want to wait!" Tas said anxiously. "I want to see it!"

Fizban realized the utter danger of letting a kender whose last wish could save the world wait several months for the joy of constant Yule to wear off and nodded. "Very well," he said. He reached into a pocket of his robes and produced a sparkling device.

"This," he said, "is the Device of Time Journeying. I want you to use it- you do know _how_ to use it?" Tas nodded, and he continued, "- to see how many people love Yule in the spring, and how many love it still in summer, and how appreciated it is by this time next year."

Tas wiggled excitedly in his shoes. "I love time travel!" he said, reaching for the glittering object. Fizban pulled it back.

"Not so fast," he said. "Tasslehoff Burrfoot, you must promise you will not use this in any way other than what I have told you, and of course to come back. You will _not_ use it to go far back in time and play tricks on people, or to speak at your friends' funerals-"

"What makes you think I'd do something like that?" Tas interrupted.

Fizban glanced at him askance. "It's just a premonition," he said.

Tas nodded. "All right then, I promise. Can I go now? I haven't done anything exciting in so long!"

Fizban handed over the device and watched as Tas disappeared.

* * *

And now you're wondering: Now what? I know, I'm a psychic mastermind. Don't worry about it. There will be a few more chapters. And hopefully this will be done by Christmas.

Now comes review time!

!--Mazzie--!


	2. Yule in Spring An Abnormally Hot Yule

**Chapter 2: Yule in Spring. An Abnormally Hot Yule.**

Tas blinked in the bright mid-spring sunshine. "It worked!" he proclaimed. A few passing women gave cast an odd look at him, then realized who he was and smiled. It was good to be a hero.

Tas rushed up the stairs to the Inn of the Last Home. He pushed the door open- but it was locked. It was only then that he noticed the sign in the window reading "Closed for Yule".

Before he had even thought about it, he had picked the lock and was inside. He had never seen the Inn this empty! The fire in the grate was dark, and there was dust everywhere.

"Hello?" Tas called into the dark. "Caramon? Tika? Is anyone there?"

No one answered. Tas missed the smell of fried potatoes.

_They're probably at their house!_ he thought in a burst of genius. He dashed out of the Inn, neglecting to close the door, and nearly tumbled down the stairs to reach ground level.

Sure enough, the Majeres' house was lit up. When Tas knocked politely on the door- a habit he had been forced to adopt after years of living among humans- it swung open to reveal a smiling Tika.

"Tas!" she exclaimed. "I heard you were in town and knew it wouldn't be long before you came to visit! Come in, come in."

Tas, of course, was already in and looking around. The remains of a ham sat on the table, with Caramon absentmindedly picking at bits.

"Hi, Caramon!" Tas said excitedly. "Isn't Yule great?"

Caramon cracked a grin. "I've never eaten this much ham in my entire life! Yule is wonderful!"

Tika shook her head. "You didn't happen to stop by the Inn first, did you, Tas?" she asked. When Tas nodded, she sighed. "I'll go over and lock it back up, then," she said, and slipped out the door.

"So Tas," Caramon began after a hearty belch, "what brings you to Solace at Yuletide? I thought you were staying home for the holidays."

"Oo, Caramon, it's such an exciting story! Even better than one Uncle Trapspringer would have told! You see, I was waiting up on the night before Yule- not sleeping, of course- and I heard a noise, and when I looked up I saw Fizban! You remember Fizban, the wizard who's actually Paladine? Close personal friends, me and Paladine. Well, he couldn't deliver presents because his hat was missing, so I helped him find it, and I saved Yule, Caramon! Me! All by myself!"

Caramon scratched his head. "But how did you get here?"

Tas took a deep breath and continued to tell the rest of the story so quickly that Caramon only looked more confused than he had at first. It didn't help that Tas' story was punctuated with tales of his Uncle Trapspringer and fond memories of the War of the Lance.

"Okay," Caramon said finally. "Tell me again, but _slower_…"

* * *

Despite the warmth of the afternoon, a fire blazed in the grate. Dalamar wiped sweat from his forehead as he poured yet another cup of tea for his irritable Shalafi.

Raistlin sat in the armchair from which he had hardly moved since the original Yule. He stared at the fire. Dalamar wondered what he was thinking and what he was seeing. Dying embers couldn't look that interesting, could they?

As he set the teacup on the small table next to Raistlin's chair, his Shalafi spoke.

"Do you know what I've accomplished?"

"Yes, Shalafi. You are the greatest mage alive," Dalamar replied. It wasn't flattery, it was common knowledge.

"I was the youngest mage ever to take the Test, let alone survive it," his master continued. "I reclaimed this tower from the curse it had been placed under. I created life, however pathetic, in my laboratory." He succumbed momentarily to a coughing fit and began again only after a few sips of tea.

"Yes, Shalafi," Dalamar repeated.

"Every night, for four months, I have wished for a Demon-in-a-Ball so I could reverse that fool kender's wish. Every morning I have been disappointed. I could be refining the process of reanimation in my laboratory. I could be a god by now! But it's Yule. So I can't do anything."

Dalamar didn't speak. It was best to remain silent when Raistlin monologued.

"Get out of my sight," Raistlin hissed, and went back to staring at the flames.

Dalamar slipped out unnoticed.

* * *

"Anyway," Tas concluded after explaining himself again to his friends, "I'm not supposed to stay very long. I've gotta see what Yule's like in summer! Don't you think it'll be wonderful, with all the heat? But there won't be any snow. Do you think it will be less of a Yule if there's no snow? I suppose not, I mean, there's no snow now and it's still a happy Yule-"

"Tas," Tika interrupted, "weren't you going?"

"Oh, yes, of course, thank you Tika! It's been marvelous seeing you all! I suppose I'll see you again in the summer! Happy Yule!"

He would have continued this conversation had not Caramon coughed significantly, which reminded Tas again that he was leaving.

A whispered incantation and a few spins of the Device of Time Journeying, and Tas found himself back in the middle of Kenderhome.

But it wasn't the Kenderhome he knew. No happy children dashed around with buckets of water, splashing their friends. No laughter rang through the hot, still air. The market wasn't even set up!

In fact, Kenderhome looked much like other scenes Tas had seen before, during the War of the Lance. It looked like a war zone.

"What happened here?" he gasped.

A voice from behind him answered. "An entire population of kender got bored."

* * *

Dalamar wandered the streets of Palanthas, cursing the order of magic that forced him to wear black velvet in the middle of summer. He was most unattractively flushed and sweaty, and the burning sensation on his nose told him it would be sunburned the next day.

"You know what I'm looking for," Raistlin had told him this morning in the Tower of High Sorcery. "Go find it for me."

When Dalamar had tried to question his Shalafi further, he'd only been dismissed. Unfortunately, Dalamar had no idea what Raistlin was looking for, and therefore had been outdoors for hours, trying to find something that might please his extremely peevish master.

He tried to think. What did _he_ want? Perhaps if he started there, he could solve this mystery. However, Raistlin didn't seem the type for cologne or silver-handled combs.

A figure on the other side of the street caught Dalamar's eye. A woman. And a rather pretty one- well, passing pretty anyway- at that. And- Dalamar noticed with growing excitement- she was a cleric of Paladine! That immediately triggered a memory in Dalamar's head, a memory of Raistlin saying that to become a god, a mage needed a cleric of the opposite persuasion…

Without hesitation Dalamar dashed across the street. He wasn't one to doubt fate when its message was so clear.

"Excuse me! Ma'am! Excuse me!" Dalamar called as he tried to catch up to the woman. He wasn't used to such physical exertion.

She turned around. "Happy Yule," she said with a smile. "Do you need my help with anything?"

Dalamar kept his smirk to himself. Only a cleric of Paladine would still appreciate Yule by this time.

"Yes, my master is in need of your…" he trailed off, unsure of how to phrase his request, "…special skills. Would you come with me to his tower?"

The cleric flushed. "I'm afraid I'm not the sort of woman you seem to think I am," she said, offended.

This made Dalamar blush. "Oh, no, nothing like that, ma'am, I assure you. My Shalafi needs a cleric to help him with a task, that's all."

The woman's face broke into a smile again. "Lead on," she said, gesturing ahead of her.

* * *

Tas turned to look at the voice. A dwarf peddler stood behind him, spinning a golden bracelet on his finger.

"What do you mean, 'got bored'?" Tas asked. "It's Yule. Kender love Yule."

The dwarf let out a harsh laugh. "Not when it's every day, they don't. Kender like exciting, new things. Yule was no longer new or exciting, and therefore it bored them. You're a kender. You should know."

Tas scratched his topknot. "Why didn't they stop celebrating, then?" he asked.

"It's Yule. You can't not celebrate Yule," the dwarf replied matter-of-factly.

Tas looked down the street at the burning house and broken crockery. He let out a sigh.

"Maybe I should ask a kender what's going on," he said to himself. He waved cheerily at the dwarf and proceeded to search for some sign of life.

He had nearly reached his house when he caught sight of a girl he recognized as his cousin Goldilocks.

"Goldie!" he called. "Hey, Goldie!"

She turned. Her face was dirty, her hair tangled.

"Hi, Tas," she said tiredly.

"What's going on here?" he asked.

"Oh, you wouldn't know. You haven't been here. But about three months ago, wanderlust struck every kender here. But no one could leave, because it's Yule, and everyone has to be with their families. So we just…broke stuff, I guess."

"So you don't like Yule every day?" Tas asked. He was beginning to think that perhaps his wish hadn't been such a good idea after all.

"It's fine, I guess. I'm just tired of only getting presents and the grownups all being angry because they can't go anywhere."

Tas sighed. Clearly his wish had not been a good one. But maybe…

"If it was actually Yuletide, do you think you would like Yule?" he asked Goldie.

"I don't know. It's hard to know how I'll feel tonight, much less in winter," she replied.

"I'll find out for you! Don't worry, Goldie! I'll see you at Yuletide!"

Tas whisked out the Device of Time Journeying and disappeared only moments later.

* * *

Raistlin glanced up when he heard the door opened. It appeared that apprentice of his had returned. He hoped the elf had been successful, for his own sake.

"Shalafi," Dalamar called, "I've brought you a cleric…" he trailed off as he realized he hadn't asked the woman's name.

"Crysania," she supplied. "I'm pleased to be of service, Master Shalafi."

Raistlin turned to look at the pair. Dalamar looked sunburned and quite disconcerted, while the cleric- Crysania, he reminded himself- looked serene, if a bit pale from crossing the Shoikan Grove.

"I am pleased you could attend to me," he said. "I am Raistlin Majere."

She flushed slightly. "When he called you Shalafi, I assumed it was your name," she said apologetically.

"Don't worry about it. You are here to help me with a most important task."

Raistlin nodded at Dalamar to dismiss him. He waited until the door clicked shut behind the elf to continue.

"You see," he said, "I plan on stopping Yule. This Yule every day is nonsense! We should abolish the holiday and get it over with."

Crysania looked distinctly uncomfortable. "Yule is a holiday sacred to Paladine," she said. "I cannot support your overthrow of it."

Raistlin bit his lip. He'd have to try a different tactic.

"But look at what this sacred holiday is reduced to," he said, inspired. "It's nothing more than an everyday occurrence, like breakfast. It doesn't have sanctity anymore."

She frowned. "I don't believe that. I hold it sacred. If I hadn't believed this to be some emergency, I wouldn't have come. I would have returned to the temple to worship."

Raistlin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "But no one's happy anymore," he protested. "Isn't Yule about spending happy times with family and friends? By now, everyone's tired of their family and friends. They're not even celebrating the true meaning of Yule."

"I can't believe that," Crysania said. "I have seen more goodness in the past several months than I have in my lifetime. Yule every day has worked wonders for society."

Raistlin took her hands. "If you won't believe me, I'll show you," he said.

And he did. He showed her husbands and wives fighting, bored children, grandparents thrown out of their children's homes to spend their nights in hotels.

"This is what Yule every day does," he told her. "Some of these people live just outside your temple. And none of them are happy or loving."

Tears sparkled in Crysania's eyes. "How could I have been so blind?" she murmured. "All this anger and strife, right here in Palanthas. This must be stopped."

Raistlin's lips curled into a cruel smile. "Come to my laboratory," he said. "We have much to do."

* * *

**Sorry about this ridiculosity. I suppose I was just busy last Christmas, so I never got this finished.**

**Anyway, I should have the next chapter up by/shortly after Christmas. **

**Leave a review!**

**~~Mazzie~~  
**


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